Numb

Not sure how to describe this one

Numbness takes over, poison in my blood.
Sweet forgiveness in it's deceiving way;
Forgiveness is the key;
Pain is the drug.
My numbness is the cure.
I want to be broken, I want to be whole....
never knowing the difference.
Sleeping 
Awake 
Fear
No feeling
Emptiness follows; darkness takes over.
Only words, empty and meaningless.
One letter follows another but no one hears my words.