Observations in Real Time

using my environment to put something together, I am not sure I like it... but eh...

rigid spherical wooden lighthouse
holes in the cinder wall
concrete treated to a gasoline douse

rum on the table and ice in the glass
windows with paint on them
stained as my memories of the past

down in this real time moment of now
things are too far out there
far too close but yet I don't know how

odd timing to fasten my thoughts to
hope for inner affirmation
bringing my attention to the fresh hue

buckets full of voices that never speak
empty cans that held fear
interest in nothing so as not to think

surrounded by now and falling asleep
plastic veins that pump acid
intended to but not limited to keep

trying too hard to make this work right
giving my all to be my best
distracted I let it all out of my sight