the pit

loneliness is not as lonely as a meaningless relationship.

our fingers grazed
the rusted welding
of abandoned shopping carts

where the rain was sliding off
in beads that accentuated the humidity
of a hot, dead night.

you looked into my eyes
as i was staring down
at the cracking blacktop
with the weeds growing out of it.

your hand slid across the metal
grasping onto mine,
and with foolish certainty,
you allowed yourself to fall
into that pit you could feel
at the bottom of your stomach.

you begged me to run away with you,
standing lonely
in the parking lot of an abandoned store.

i leaned in,
looking at you from the top
of your pit

realizing i had this rope
to throw to you.

but you are too afraid
of being alone
and that is all you don’t want

which makes you want me,
but i am not to be desired
and you cannot be loved.

so i will mourn for you
as you watch my movements
from the bottom of your pit.

i wish we could fall into it
together

but we would only be more alone.
i’m taking this rope
and hanging myself.