Senserity

This is a poem I wrote to my dad after a rough time in my life.

How many times must I say I'm sorry?
How many times must I try?
When will you forgive me O father?
When will I finally die?

I'm not proud of who I am.
I'm not proud of what I've done to you.
You are not ashamed of who I am,
But I am ashamed for you.

I drink away my sorrows
Night after I night I do.
But in the morning I dread,
I dread of what I've done to you.

I don't dread the pain of this morning.
I don't dread the ache in my body.
What I do dread is the love you lost.
The love you lost for Scotty.