ReFlEcTiOns

Internal struggle to withstand certain desires.

rEfLeCtIoNs

Embers of want
attack my resolve.

Each assault
stronger in its intensity.

Trying to burn each layer
as I hold onto an inner strength
I will not relinquish;
a duel to the death.

I confine myself against the onslaught,
years of practice keeping the fire at bay.

Engaged in a tug of war;
my soul at stake.

My identity molded by an overdose of restraint and self-discipline.
Who I am lays entrapped within the confusion;
an in cohesive mixture of layers.

Unrelenting smoke suffocates me;
ridiculing as it tries to construct a bridge
between the hidden fire and unspoken desire.

Acknowledging the scam
will corrupt who I am.

I do not need Hell in order to burn.
I am already consumed by burning, yearning,
embers of an un-wanting want.

Tearing up my insides as it twists and turns,
unrelenting intensity that sometimes it hurts.

Controlling the fires’ need to gain control
leaves me exhausted and numb -
a zombie confined within a shell.
Withdrawn to the world and my own living hell.