Missing Father

A poem about my abusive and then missing parental unit

My head is confusing hearts in a spin,
A world thats on fire To hell it is kin.
From start to finish our path has been pain,
forgotten innocence lying dead and slain.

You came and you left the truth never knowing,
though in young heart my pain was growing.
My guiding light I was supposed to see,
a role model to love a person to be.

instead what you were was the demon of fears,
A shadow of hate that reduced me to tears.
An image in the future of what to guard myself from,
A beacon of warning for all that would come.

those of my future would be wieghed against you,
an invisible barrier they could not break through.
so why in my life have i searched to fill a whole?
A void in my heart a darkness in my soul?

A guardian, A protector I have searched to find,
Someone to fill the whole that you left behind.
i may never know the answer to this,
the small simple question of what did I miss?