A poem for Anna

This was written while my sister was battling an eating disorder

Anna, i hear you creep in softly
your brittle bones rattle within flapping skin
your shallow breath caressing my cheek as i lay in bed
while your fingers slip into my brain
planting seeds of hate and self doubt
do you laugh as you leave, or do you kiss me fondly on the cheek?

Anna, are you the reflection i see in the mirror in my dreams?
do i not notice you smile when, repulsed, i turn away?
you are my stalking shadow, never far behind
tracing my steps with your own haggard feet
through tear blurred eyes i sometimes catch a triumphant smirk
you have won, i am nothing, i am nothing, i am...

Awake. The sun exposes the shadows which now seem trivial and small
where are you now? does the light burn your skin?
Those seeds fall out my ears when i shake my head awake
with the warmth on my limbs i begin to see
i am someone, i am someone, you are gone.
Anna you are a phantom of the night, a vauge memory...a past nightmare.
When me meet again i will make you see, it is you, not me
that is ugly, that is worthless...that is nothing.