Directed to Heaven...

In a place of spiritual focus, why do I feel so unspiritual?

Glorious music from earth surrounds me.
Directed to heaven.
Why does my spirit flee?
Immersed in goodness why am I drowning?
What of me hates what I long for?
    Alone in a place exceedingly full;
    What is this pull?
It tears me;
scares me.
    How easily could I fall into greed,
    the need.
Will I go from here to there,
or  hear and be made aware?
    Aware of life new.
    Strengthened to do
a better thing. I cast my doubts aside now;
today is the day. So I vow.
    O’ GOD I need to take a step in faith.
    This flesh is full of hate!
For me.! For you! What will you do?
My life is yours. Please take it, make it new!
It’s YOU!
    I must believe you when you say that this is the day.
    Please show me the way!!
A journey without you is deception.
Let me see you in my reflection.