A Choice

A poem about the conflicted feelings divorce brings.

A Choice

There was the pain,
The overwhelming responsibility,
The disagreements,
The lack of money.
The suspicions.

It was my idea.
I thought I knew.
I wanted more.
I wanted less. 
I wanted to save myself from drowning.
I leapt, no plan.

So here I am.
A few years down the road,
New life
Looks good, looks happy.

Close up, though, there is still pain.
I miss seeing my sons’ faces every day
instead of by arrangement

I didn’t know.
I didn’t want, I didn’t mean
to give away
The place called home.

I didn’t know about the looking back
and the longing.