Hopeless

My first poem on this site.

I am so alone.
I smile outside,
but do I smile inside?
I laugh awkwardly,
aching in my blackened heart.
Kisses and hugs,
met with frowns and shrugs.
I have nothing left to offer.
No more of my happiness,
no more of my friendship,
never had love to give away...
Just a fake persona,
and fake smiles,
untrue sympathy
and a phony compassion
to make you feel better
and believe that there's hope,
hope for a fairy tale
hope for true love,
hope for eternal friendship,
hope for loyalt,
hope for trust,
and hope for yourself.
But really,
is there hope?
is there happiness?
is there true love?
We run around,
day after day,
always pushing ourselves,
telling ourselves,
that there is going to be a day,
when we understand why we do
all of this all of our lives.
We will grasp what we so
desperately want to have.