A Half a Million Dollars of Loneliness

An observation of a beautiful friend awash in the throes of alcoholism

A Half a Million Dollars of Loneliness


Four Bedrooms filled with loneliness overlooking the lake
Masterfully built, beautiful,
lovely how it sits down from the road
with the sculptured lawn and strategic mulch
it took imagination to design it
it took love and care to buy it


I can imagine the sun coming up on the back
deck of the house,
the bright sunshine burning off
the early morning mist
she's sitting there shaking and sick
tired and confused
hardly aware of the beauty around her

She strolls through the house filled with beautiful things
and a head filled with the hurt of last nights wine
unsmiling,
unwilling,
unhappy



She feels alone and forgotten
sad and lost
unending fear
sure that it will always be the same
looking and pondering the unthinkable
suicide one glass at a time
one more God damn day

She wonders how it ever got this way
A life so bright at the start
bound and determined to better herself
educated, smart, exceptional in most ways
but most sadly not to herself

A half a million dollars of loneliness