Our Father

The day I stopped being a Christian

we all stood in a row
dozens of us
single file
waiting in line
to get into Heaven
we had to wait our turn
to confess our sins
to be absolved of our worldly evils
and you learn early
in catholic school
everyone is evil
she stood in front of me
in line
my Mary, my madonna
the first to deserve my love
the first to feel my love
inside her
we laughed
made jokes at god's expense
we laughed
at "him" and his "kingdom"
we knew it was all a farce
from the mouths of babes
finally her turn came
she disappeared into the stall
apathy turned to impatience
impatience to concern
after too long she emerged
tears streaming down her
soft fair skin
she ran into my arms
and whispered
she told "our father"
what we did together
he called her "dirty"
told her it was "horrible"
"a shame to the lord"
filthy deeds that must
never be repeated
thought her tears would never end
finally she calmed
and i went to speak
to "our father"
into the stall and sat down
"hello my son"
silence
"my son?"
"go fuck yourself"
"pardon-"
i spit in his face
and walked out
we never went to see "our father" again