Lives Are Different

Life for me was different, to say the least.

Welled up, my heart full of anguish
The words I want to say
Rip at my throat and stab my soul

The fierce tears sting my eyes
Ridicule, anger and rejection adding further pain
Knowing the one I love doesn't understand my depression, my faith, my needs

Our relationship stressed, starved for love
Needing to be held and comforted
He can't be there for me

I cling to my bible
And anchor at my saviors feet
And pray

My heart broken, drowned in pain
Myself esteem small
I cry myself silently to sleep at night

I eat and eat destroying
Myself with food
During the day

I struggle with the destruction I feel
I'm weak, my zest for life modest and shallow
Feeling like a child inside, the depth of pain great

Moral and values, the future and dreams
My worth, quality and strengths
Do they matter?  Do these exist?

What are they?
They all seem
Lost and crushed

I remind myself I am here to serve God
Abide
Over come