Something I wrote during English

going through a hard time

Here I am rejected and alone
Who would want me all covered in mud?
Who would want to love or touch a child
Choking and coughing up blood?
So I sit on my knees in the middle of the street
Drenched because of the rain
I wouldn't be in this place that I am in now
If only you had stayed
My skin is like ice but my throat is on fire
I can feel more rising up.
Who would want to take care of a child
Who's pathetic and all fucked up?
I know I deserve this, I know it's my fault
I know I'm more worthless than dirt
I know no one wants me, I know, I know
Then why do I feel so hurt?
Nothing will bring more joy to this world
Than the hour of my death
Here I sit crying, I'm soaked and I'm cold
Choking on my own breath