A Christmas Poem to a Buckeye Fan

Short poem regarding a co-worker who rides a scooter to work

In the weeks before Christmas little Scooter was excited
Dreams of Ohio State winning a national championship had him delighted
A new horn for his scooter was all he wanted in his stocking
with that new accessory the girls would surely stop their mocking
At the kickball Christmas party he drank too much beer
after peeing his pants he said "at least I only do this once a year"
seeing his opportunities to score dwindle he took a shot of courage to help him mingle
at the end of the night he found a damsel in distress
a girl with no ride home and the hot scooter out front will surely impress
when they got out to the g-ride the girl was a bit down
she said "after being seen on this thing I will be the laughing stock of the town"
with no other option and the night getting late the girl took the ride wishing she brought a date
At the end of the night Scooter was the hero
even though tomorrow the girl will refer to him as a zero
Merry Christmas!