Will and Thought

A not too cheerful poem, but a way of life, or maybe rather more a view on death.

What if will and thought
Were the same?
I would have died
By the hundreds
By the thousands
However
To die all that much
Doesn't it mean I must
Live again, after death?
Or maybe it rather is
Me living the memory of the thought
Of how I wanted to die
In all situations I could find
From past, future, present
And that again must then mean
Dear spirits help me
For I am already dead