Beneath The Surface

Out of synch with the pace of life, trying not to drown in depression, fear and confusion.

Softly drowning
in hard water;
silently falling apart
from the inside out
where no one sees.

Life's undercurrent seemingly
always against me
whichever way I turn.
Feel myself slipping
further behind
those who set the pace.

Not enough hours in the day
to turn the tide my way.

Fear of too much to do
so easily results in doing
too little too late
or doing nothing at all.

Caught in a whirlpool of confusion,
spinning in circles
that only wish they led somewhere.

Painfully aware of my failures
as I strive for success.
Holding my breath;
waiting for calm,
waiting to surface.

My lungs burn,
tears sting my eyes
but it's my soul that cries.

On days like this
every breath is a struggle,
an achievement;
an act of defiance
that still has courage to hope for
a current gentle enough to float on.