Spam-tacular uses for Spam

Written for Cream of Spam: Rate Low

Spam is
so versatile
it has many uses
It's much more than just a tasty
faux meat.

Cut it
into small slices
and place between your toes
to soothe the crusty throbbing corns
at night.

Use the
Jelly to prevent
chafing by rubbing it
in bewteen your raw butt cheeks, it's
soothing.

When it
gets old, stale and moldy
throw it outside in your
Garden to poison the varmints.

Last but
not least crumble
spam and mix it with it's
own jelly making a paste. Spam
Facial!