Naked

My thoughts on being a mother

Standing naked
My hands folded by my belly
Catching shower water like a rain gutter
Staring blankly
Praying, hoping, and wishing
The way I used to when I was a child
The castles and horses are for you now
I try to dream in ambiguous greens and yellows
No pressure
Humming songs I hope you can hear
Trying to be strong
And intelligent
And a million other things I hope to pass along
Hoping you're there
Hoping you will be
It's staggering
And terrifying
The thought of you
I've never wanted for anything so badly
Cutting back on swearing and sarcasm
And caffeine
Eating veggies for you
I wonder if you're my miracle
Like I think you will be
I'm flawed
I hope you don't catch it
You will be the one thing I've done perfectly
You'll be perfect
I hope you're perfect