An Open Letter to the Mystery Publisher

Humorous but honest plea for reading, especially by editor-publisher types

An Open Letter to the Mystery Publisher

Hello, Yoohoo!
Here I am!
The jewel you are seeking
As you hungrily prowl the internet wannabe writers' sites
Searching for gold amid the dross
         I am a pot of gold, no, even better:
I am platinum.

My every word is a diamond
Welded to a ruby to a sapphire to a…
Well, you get the drift.
I'm a poet, no I'm a poetess, the best
You've read in a coon's age
In a month of Sundays
In a plethora of cliches.
I am an original
You can trust me on that.
Get that contract ready, I have pen in hand..

Oh, hell.
Somebody just read my stuff, please?