How i see my self

This is a poem that i wrote about a month or so ago and it touched alot of people.

When i see my self i feel the guilt and i want to hide myself behind close doors.

When i see my self i cry and ask God for frogiveness, but i play the hypocrite because i hate my self.

When i see my self, i dont see the real me, i see the person i want to be.

when i see my self, i see the world for what it is,i compete even with my heart.

I want to be happy, i want to be social, i want to have hope, but illusion will never turn into something real.