Losing You

My feelings at my first visit to my cousin's grave.

I gaze out my window,
Thinking of you,
Watching the rain pour down.

This gray misty day,
I can't quite picture your face.
It's just a blurred memory now.

I never thought I'd forget you,
All the memories we shared,
I think they're gone for good.

Guilt grips my stomach,
And clenches my heart,
As I realize that I am,
Losing you.

Now matter how hard I try,
To bring back that beautiful boy,
I can't seem to find you.

I know it sounds crazy,
But you were the first person
That I ever loved.

You took my hand,
Showed my who I really am,
You showed me that I'm worthwhile.

The guilt grips tighter,
My heart grows cold,
As I realize that I am,
Losing you.

As I walk through the graveyard,
I see your name,
And run helplessly toward the stone.

Hoping, just maybe,
It will bring you back,
Although I know it won't.

Nothing comes back,
Not even an image
Of your wonderful smile.

The guilt flies away,
My body goes numb,
As I realize that I have,
Lost you.