reconciliation

i wrote this on the board in math class last semester.

no longer need
for me to breathe,
i drown here in
this shadowed doubt.
slowly fading,
contemplating
what this pain
is all about.
here i stand,
blood on my hands,
wishing it were
on my wrists.
nothing takes
away mistakes
and so i have
gone back to this.
why would you
say i'm abused?
never have you
been around.
tears of glass
shatter the past
as the blood drips
to the ground.
can't say for sure
what life is for.
i just know
that i still live.
still alive,
yet dead inside,
there's nothing left
for me to give.
there was no warning
i'd see morning.
still, i'm lost
in endless night.
nothing left
but one last breath;
i'll pay you back
with my own life.