The Destructive "Why?"

A poem exploring a common feeling. A little dark.

It gnaws and bites
And leaves me bare.
Too frightened to speak
Should anyone care.

It writhes and growls
Within my soul,
And threatens destruction
To my soul.

Your eyes ask
Yet your tongue is lame,
Afraid to know
That you're to blame.

You smile and laugh
And jeer and jest
To sedate the beast
Within my breast.

While it tears
While it shreds
I learn again
What my heart so dreads.

The ripping hate
The destructive "Why?"
My borders crumple.
I begin to cry.

Why can't I?
Why don't you?
Why should she?
Why shot through?

Why can't I have the love I need?
Why don't you understand what you do?
Why should she be allowed to love?
Why is my hope now shot through?

Then you come around
You mustn't be shown
I wipe away tears
And wipe off my frown

And though you still know
You do not ask
Because you too
Wear a thin mask.

I leave you behind
Return to sanctuary
And cry once again
Unheeded, unwary.

This plague,
This disease,
It fires my soul
And weakens my knees.

This loathable beast
Is spotted with ease
This deplorable Feeling:
My own jealousy