No Goodbyes

a poem to father who was called back last year

You left…

There were no goodbyes
No last words for me
To lay my hopes on

No last glimpse
No last smile,
No tears from you

As our beating hearts
Were separated
Million miles by a door

And when I saw you
The reality before me
Broke me to pieces
Stabbed countless times
Till I was only
Shattered flesh and bones

I wanted my scream
To go beyond where I was
I wanted to see
What’s behind
The slightly closed eyes

If I could just fade away
So I could grab you back
You’re out there somewhere
Lost, and don’t know
How to come back

Yet I was taken up
Upon the wings of time
Then I was laughing…
Telling myself I was fine
But I did not stop the mourning

I guess…
There never would be
Goodbyes from you
I was down and almost
Could not get up
As most of me left with you

I got more than a pair of arms
To comfort me
And more than one tongue
To push me down
Yet somehow I’m still here
Moving on with your memory

You’re still here, I know
Our bond is more than flesh
You’re not lost, I know that now
You’re home… right in my heart.