slip up and slipaway

it's a bout self-harming facts

         
Slip up & slipaway
           
           Put down the blade and swore inside my heart,
Never do it again,
Two days has gone, everything seems fine,
i wonder if this was that easy why haven't i quit before
The third has begun and so the urgs to bleed more
I pick it up again, hesitation attacks me, put it down you swore
I pray for god i lack strenght, help me to stand up again,
Bones aching, evrery cell begin to drown in pain,
I need somebody beside me to lie to me to say i'll be alright
I need sombody to pull me to make me feel i can fight,
No one seems to come, why should they, they don't know
The space shrinks, the black clouds start to rain,
Thoughts of suicide, thoughts that i should go away,
Walls turns to silver blades closing in down on me,
scars star to bleed secretly under my skin, I'm in great pain
Two days! can't i hold longer than that!
I'm in control but everything seems to rebell on me,
Bloody knives, grey graves all cross my mind
I don't want to slip up, It will make me slip away,
May be if i kill myself today,
I will be in control still, may be it is just fantcy!