what she wanted

my grandma's story and the family she loved.

She’s heard it all before
She knows what she’s doing to herself
But she doesn’t stop, she can’t
The addiction has taken over

Maybe she’s the only one who knows it
Maybe secretly, it’s what she hoped for
The more she persisted, the sooner it would end
If only it would all end
She lacks control

But what she doesn’t know is what she leaves behind
The youngest daughter with her first newborn son- premature at best
And oldest daughter with two little girls
And her son, the middle child, always getting into trouble

She lets go, her youngest in a state of panic
“Please mom, I don’t know what I’m doing”
But she can’t stay any longer
The pain is too unbearable

Her son-in-law is left to comfort the family
Through honest laughs and untold legends
Her love of chocolate
And romance novels

Her co-dependent husband
He’s lost, he thinks he needs to start over
And he does
But they all wish he didn’t
He’s a new man with a new marriage

She leaves behind unconditional love
As they lower the casket
And tears begin to fall
And the absence settles in