The Sum of Me

was written for Randy, never gave it to him though.

I wish you could have seen inside
my head that day, could have read
my thoughts when I told you
not to come for me.

How afraid I was.

How I just wanted to curl up
in a corner and cry.

What I realy wanted
was your reassurance
that you wouldn't break my heart
again.

That you wouldn't abandon me
so far from my safety net.I needed
to know that I was not just a
love of convenience.

Rather of necessity.

I wish I could say that I was
as strong as I pretended to be.
Truth was you had already
hurt me twice, I was not
prepared for a third.

If I could have told you this,
would you have eased my fears?

If you had known,
would you have come anyway?

So many times I have asked
these questions in the quiet
of the night.

I still keep your letters hoping
to find the answers in your words.

If I could turn back time,
I don't know that I would
do anything differently.

All I do know is that you
represent the sum of my
weakness' .