Self-Esteem Is Overrated

The result of me trying to work through some issues in my mind. Critiques appreciated!

Self-Esteem Is Overrated

What can you do when
the past has caught up with you
but the future is still out of your grasp?
I spend my existence walking
through a haze....

Once upon a time I let myself go,
dissolved into the mist that surrounded me—
crumbled into dust and then
blew away in the wind…

…and somehow, I found my way back.

The pain isn’t as bad as it seems.
Please, let me bleed—
I want to be in the river that I drown in.
I want to become the void that’s been
swallowing me up all these years.

I’m hollow inside
empty
but it’s not so bad—
it gives me a place to keep my baggage.

My scars are what get me through each day—
the pain is what keeps me awake,
what stops me from slipping into dreams.

The dreams that slip into nightmares…

The line between dream and reality has been crossed.
The line between life and death is blurred.
I have become the living dead.