Wanting escape

The title says it all pretty much.. I dont know

I wish before I die...
that something
gives me reason to smile
The kind of happiness
that only comes
to those with closed eyes
-I'm tired of losing-
all that I love
I'm so scared to get close
to another soul
I'm wanting to run
away from this pain
Find a better life
somewhere I'm safe
-A mystic paradise-
It's all a mystery to me
and how you smooothly
stole my innocence
I call out for you
but you were never really there
I believed every one of your lies
They tasted so sweet
-I guess you were just that good-
you were my whole world
Is insanity,
what I have left to look to?
How can you hurt me so badly,
and still I run to you?
I feel like I'm fading and falling apart
It's all a blur now
and death is at my door
All I wanted,
all I truly wanted,
was to find that paradise.