I Ponder To Find.

Since, Aug of 2005 My mom had a massive stroke and many other health problems.

I Ponder To Find.

Alone here
watching the shadows
reflecting a glowing light.
I ponder,
I reflect upon my life
and its meaning.
A feeling deep down
somehow brings me to wonder.

Are these feelings that my soul
feels anger or sorrow?
I feel an emptiness
that should not be there
I have seen death
come too close to my door.

I try to keep a smile
on my sorrow ridden face
I can't help but
to want to step out.
Step out of my body
to feel no more pain
run away from not knowing
my mother is falling
close to death's door.

cry to all these feelings
once again to feel sane
I want to feel free
with the birds as they fly
Not just to watch but
try to do everything I can
for her not to die

As the candle fades
the shadows flicker away
Once again I feel
somewhat releived
that no matter what happens
i will never be alone.
I will carry her with me,
forever
and that will never change.
her spirit will find
my soul and
be together again.

Tam Drysdale