bumbling

a draft of a thought-flow; ode to a friend

You know I tend not to hide things very well
I wish I knew why
Heart on my sleeve and all that matter

I don't WANT pity
I don't WANT charity
I don't want ANYTHING that will interfere with my independence
Don't you get it?

It comes hard won.

I live in a basement
literally
metaphorically
figuratively

My pain and sadness have nothing to do with you
Maybe they would, someday
but not now
and not this way
Apparently I am not strong enough to shake
What I thought I shook
A year ago

I'm just all shook up now
Crazy, confused, bedraggled
But it doesn't include you
Just like your past
(I've realized)
Has absolutely nothing to do with me

If I could explain I would
But till then, this is all I have
I'm sorry.