What If?

The past is gone, but, what if?

Everyday, the same thing goes on here in this drab life, I yell out, “Is this it, why not more!" There's no answer.

My eyes well up with tears and my eyes sting.
The past is all I think about, what if?
Here and now starts the future,
but there's a wall, a force...
that doesn't let me go on.

I fight and yell out and nothing
seems help.

I just want to rip at myself to
let myself know that I'm still here...
Waiting...

For what, I'm not sure...