At the other end of the stick

Attitudes and sense of being can alter depending on who you are speaking to

When you are grouping around in the dark of an altered or negative sense of being.
And you grab onto the wrong end of the stick, it's best not to become defensive too soon; rather, to sort the matter at hand into workable files that together you and the person at the other end of the stick can work through - or 1 of 2 things can happen.
- You pull them into the mire and stand all over them while you attempt to climb out.
- They can drop the stick (with you attached) and you end up falling deeper.