Skinny is better than me

a poem about my recent struggle with accepting who i am and who i am not

“Skinny is better than me”
By: Alicia McCray

I’m frail and slowly breaking
But my heart is also giving out
With every hurtful word said
My heart beats one less count

The looks and stares on the street
Burn me to the core
With each stare I feel it
I feel my death more

I wish for it to come
I have no right to live
I’m not beautiful or special
I’m just a fat pig

I wish I was pretty
Like a model on TV
But I know I can never be that
While still being me

Why must I be skinny to be gorgeous?
Why must I weigh only 100 lbs to be loved by you?
Why must I be something I’m not?
Why mustn’t I be true?

So I starve myself and hope
That maybe I’ll lose the weight
With each passing day, that I miss the scale
I wonder how long I can live with the hate