This week: Curses Edited by: Robert Waltz  
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I grew up cursing a lot. It felt natural. My parents told me to stop.
—Adam Sandler
I was never in favor of cursing on records and so forth. I wasn't brought up like that. But I needed to survive and make money and get me a piece of show business. So when I found I could hit with this, then I turned to it. And in order to turn to it, you must do it well.
—Rudy Ray Moore
I love British cursing - the cadence of it, the joy in the sound of the words, and the vulgarity of it.
—Christopher Moore |
They're not "just words." They have power: more power than other words. The power to amuse, to offend, to disgust, or to bond. They express emotions that simply cannot be otherwise expressed, even by the most clever and creative of writers (of which I am not one).
I am, of course, talking about dirty words. Or, as we call it here in the South, "cussin'."
There are those, I'm aware, who believe that cussin' makes you sound less intelligent and/or educated. Some of these same people will probably say that merely having a Southern American accent makes you sound less intelligent and/or educated; consequently, their opinion is neither wanted nor appreciated.
No, applying dirty words to one's writing, or speech, isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of strength. It's raising a giant middle finger to social norms and customs.
But you can't just throw in a four-letter word here and there and expect to be praised for it. And inserting them into every sentence makes you sound like you have Tourette's, and this diminishes the inherent power of the naughty language. No, as with most everything else, they're best used in moderation and with a modicum of creativity.
Now, I know some people would argue "But, Waltz, isn't it more creative to come up with alternative expressions than those vulgar interjections?" Well, maybe. It depends. You can't just say "freakin'" without the other person knowing exactly which versatile Anglo-Saxonism you're substituting for. Mincing oaths is a cop-out. Either say it, or don't, gosh darn it to the grayest middle part of heck!
There are, of course, certain hard-and-fast exceptions to the use of the more colorful expletives: for one thing, we don't knowingly use them around children. It's kind of like the time I was over at a friend's house, a friend with some young children. Forewarned of the presence of larval humans, I steeled myself to amend my usual vocabulary in favor of brightness and sunshine. And this worked well, until I let slip that Santa Claus wasn't real.
I never got invited back. I think it would have been better if I'd uttered the forbidden words.
Point is, it's important that parents believe their children aren't exposed to the secret language of adulthood. I mean, the kids are, definitely, but most of them do a pretty good job hiding it from their parents. Most importantly, though, when the parents ask the kid "Where in the hell did you learn that language?" the kid can't snitch on you because it wasn't your fault.
Also, if you're in a work environment, you might be obligated to keep the spicy language to an absolute minimum.
...and, really, those are the only contraindicated situations I can think of. Apart from that, cuss away! Just don't be cliché about it. |
Some funnies, with or without advanced vocabulary.
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Last time, in "Canceled!" , I took a turn to the serious.
S🤦♂️  : I live in a country where comedians are being threatened if they make fun of religious belief. I am half-inclined to go back onto the stand-up stage just to make fun of religious belief to see what happens. Freedom of speech is not enshrined in law in any country except the USA (and there are caveats there - you cannot yell, "Fire!" in a crowded theatre, for example, and defamation/libel is still a thing) and so, yes, governments and the corporations to whom they are lackeys can curtail what you say in public. Think and in private? No... not yet. Sorry. this is a humour newsletter and I am being very serious.
But my first published novel, a comedy, saw me receive a death threat over what was written in it, that threat coming from the USA. Just sayin'...
Death threats are also exceptions to freedom of speech here. And yeah, you were being serious and I was being serious and we're all being deadly serious here so can we go back to cursing?
So that's it for me for now. Until next time,
LAUGH ON!!!
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Comedy: November 05, 2025 Issue [#13435]
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