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Review #4842004
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Old Birds  Open in new Window. [E]
Drama at the nursing home
by StephBee Author Icon
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#4842004
Review of Old Birds  Open in new Window.
Review by Annette Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hello


General Impressions
A fun scene playing out in the community room at a senior living center. Gus and a gaggle of women engage in banter, mostly to meant to humble Gus. Until someone sends out an SOS and Gus gets voluntold to help out.

Things of note in the text
The text flowed nicely. There were no instances where anything was unclear. My only difficulty was keeping all of the women apart. At the end, Linda said "We know." (which makes it sound as if she has known Gus for a while.) But I thought she was the new one?

This is something I could easily find out by going back over the text. At the same time, this is an opportunity to give all of the women a little more character when they are active in the story beyond just their names.

*Fire* Annette *Fire*
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