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 Review #4841921 |
| (5.0)  First Impressions: This was a thoughtful and quite powerful story. It explored grief, hypocrisy, faith, and the search for meaning in the aftermath of war from five different perspectives, with each character representing one aspect of the impact of war. There was the young widow whose husband was killed in action, the businessman who profited from the war while protecting his own (only, as it turned out, he couldn’t protect them all), the stonemason who created the monument for those who died and had to carve his own son’s name on it, the disillusioned veteran who suffered the loss of his legs and campaigned against war, and the priest who struggled with his faith. Each one got a few paragraphs to explain their part in this tale, and you gave the readers just enough details to make that person real. Melanie’s story was the most fleshed out and personal, but the others played important parts in the tale as well. Bruce Babcock’s inner monologue was chilling, especially the cynical “War is good for business.” His later denial of Jessica’s death brought the theme full circle: the cost of moral blindness.  Suggestions: The story was very polished and I only noticed one small typo. It’s hardly worth mentioning, but since I’m here: “Damn,” he thinks. War is good for business.” The second sentence has closing speech marks but you missed the opening ones. Alternatively, since he was thinking this, you could put his thoughts in italics. I was also not sure about Viet Nam/Vietnam. I think you are probably correct to use the former version in the letter from the Department of Defence and the latter for the rest of the story, but there was one instance of the name spelled as two words in Father Donovan’s story, and I wasn’t sure if this was intentional or an error.  Final Thoughts: This was a moving, well-written story that captured the collective grief of a community while giving each individual voice moral weight. The historical accuracy feels authentic, and the biblical and memorial tones of the closing lines felt very fitting. A great read!
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You responded to this review 11/04/2025 @ 12:16pm EST