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 Review #4830264 |
Ghost Peppers Chapter 10  [18+] A rookie detective's first case continues.  |
| (4.0)  First Impressions: I felt this chapter was much deeper than the previous ones. There were a lot of emotions and they came across very clearly. Penny’s fear dominated this chapter, and I liked how you started with the flashback to her childhood when she was scared of her father and somehow, miraculously, Jackie turned up just at the right time. It now looks like Penny fits into it all because she also had a horrible father who made her life miserable. But then, so did Jackie. It reminded me of something I picked up two chapters ago when the killer’s instructions said something about ‘the Peppers’. I found this confusing but assumed it would become clear later. Now I’m wondering if Penny’s parents died the same way. But then, she would have made the connection straight away, so I’m still no further forward here!   Suggestions: I thought it was a little jarring how Jackie suddenly told the story of her father being a drunk, just after Penny had that memory about her own father. It explains how Jackie knew to turn up on Penny’s doorstep just at the right time, but since Penny hadn’t told Jackie about having that memory just moments earlier, it came a bit out of the blue. I scrolled up again to see if I had somehow missed Penny telling her, but I hadn’t. I wonder if this would work better if Penny did mention it to give Jackie a reason to tell that story. As it is, it makes her look like she’s psychic. And I noticed a couple of small errors: The sun was setting as Penny drove home, her grip on the wheel was tight as her eyes darted to the rearview mirror These are two independent sentences that should be separated by a period rather than a comma. Alternatively, you could keep them as one sentence but omit the word “was” - ...as Penny drove home, her grip on the wheel tight… Penny had felt a rush of relief, how had Jackie known? Again, this needs to be two sentences with a period after “relief”.  Final Thoughts: It is very creepy to imagine that the killer might have been watching them, but other than the two sets of lingerie that were the same as Penny’s, there has been no hint that this is the case. The only time we have met the killer, other than in the prologue, was when he read the instructions for the second murder. There weren’t any scenes where he might have been lurking (from his point of view) or even Penny suddenly feeling like someone was there, turning around and finding she was mistaken. It’s all very mysterious!
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You responded to this review 08/18/2025 @ 10:59am EDT