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Review #4819502
Viewing a review of:
 A Spider. . . Really Open in new Window. [E]
When you hope it is a prank but you are too tired to care.
by audra_branson Author Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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*PenB* First Impressions:

My daughter rang me this morning in a wild panic because there were hundreds of baby spiders in her bathroom. Not sure what she expected me to do as she lives just over 100 miles away *Laugh* Your story brought back memories of her screaming and sobbing on the phone. This read like a true story because you captured the emotions extremely well. First, the mother thought her son was trying to trick her, then that he was trying to get out of cleaning the garage. When she finally realised that the spider was real, it seemed to hit even harder.


*PenG* Suggestions:

The story was well written and I only noticed a couple of small errors:

Wiping, layers of sweat-filled dust from my forehead
You don’t need the comma after “Wiping”.

I can't breath.
Just a typo, “breathe”.


*PenP* Final Thoughts:

I loved the mother’s reactions. She was tired and had an unpleasant job to do, but she hadn’t lost her sense of humour. Lines like, No one ever died from invisible spiders were well done to show a whole raft of emotions, and she wasn’t in the mood to be made fun of, but she didn’t lose her temper. Despite the fact that I hate spiders, I thought this was a fun story, and I enjoyed the read.




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