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Review #4819348
Viewing a review of:
Grim Reaper Open in new Window. [13+]
Entry for the Dialogue 500. Death comes for nomlet in this self-referential dialogue.
by nomlet Author Icon
Review of Grim Reaper  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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*PenB* First Impressions:

A very witty dark comedy! The tone reminded me a little of Terry Pratchett’s humour. The banter is brisk, with the Grim Reaper’s dry, sarcastic responses a perfect contrast to the main character’s desperation. I didn’t see the twist coming, that Death is in fact the contest host. It was very original and added a fun layer of absurdity.

I’ve never entered this contest because I always thought it would be too difficult to write in dialogue only, but it seemed you didn’t have any problems with it. It was always clear who was speaking as the two characters had very distinct voices, and I could imagine the scene even though there were no dialogue tags or narrative to explain what they were doing.


*PenG* Suggestions:

The story was well written and I only have a couple of suggestions:

I also bowl in a league on wednesdays.
"Wednesdays" should be capitalized because days of the week are proper nouns.

"Sorry. I'm just doing this for practice you know."
I think there should be a comma after “practice”.

And this isn’t an error as such, but there were three sentences where the Grim Reapers started with an exasperated Please, two of them in the same paragraph. I would suggest omitting one of them as the repetition was quite noticeable.


*PenP* Final Thoughts:

There were so many funny lines in this story, but if I had to pick a favourite, it would be the one where the writer is trying to make the Grim Reaper sound menacing but he’s not happy with it and interrupts himself in mid sentence: "Write, you miserable worm! Write or I'll... Stop! My god, that's terrible! I asked for menacing, not tedious." I thought that was hilarious, but the whole story was very well done, and I’m glad I came across it!




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