Hi BLACKBUNNY12

Congratulations on your account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion.


Positives

I liked the imagery and structure of this piece. It was an interesting, engaging read that kept my attention from beginning to end.


Suggestions

There were a number of technical issues with some of the lines, mostly related to the wrong form of the word or word tense. For example, some of the ones I noticed early on in the poem:

traped down myself into the darkness.
Is that supposed to be "trapped" or maybe "draped"?

My inner heart was full of ambitious
Based on the tense of the piece, I think this should be "ambition"

My life seems enigmas
I think this should be "enigmatic"


Overall

Overall, I think there's a bit of work to be done to polish this poem up a bit, but you've got a great foundation and there's a ton of potential here. Nice work!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

Respectfully,

Jeff
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy" 




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .