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Given: Apr 16, 2024 at 8:49am
Length: 2,125 Characters |
1,645 w/o WritingML
Greetings, Sumojo! I am reviewing this because I am part of "I Write in 2024" . As always, it's a pleasure to read your writing!
First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest.
What I Liked
You've written a great description of a delicate princess, following the prompt: Write a delicate poem from Express it in Eight. The phrases in the first stanza: delicate disposition, easily hurt, slight as an apparition definitely gives the reader the idea that this princess is delicate! Then, in the second stanza, the reader discovers she is also a spoiled princess!
And my favorite line is...She wants, she gets. Don’t try to deny her Love it!
Suggestions/Comments to Consider
desert dessertI used to get these two confused till I read somewhere to think of the 2nd s as a 2nd helping of dessert. And that's how I remember.
see through see-throughI'm not always sure about hyphenated words, so I looked this one up on Google: ""See-through" is a hyphenated compound adjective.."
Not sure if you purposely left out the period at the end of this poem, or not. If so, just disregard this! Since you used punctuation throughout this piece, I thought it worth at least mentioning.
Final Thoughts
What a fun little piece you've created, Sue! I had no problem at all visualizing this delicate little spoiled princess. An enjoyable read, for certain.
Have a great day and... K e e p on W r i t i n g ! Cubby ")
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