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 Review #4741227 |
Desolate  [ASR] You don't see my soul.  |
  Greetings, Nikola- pray for Texas! I am reviewing this because I discovered it in the Read & Review forum.  First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest. What I Liked I could definitely feel the pain in your words.   I liked the centering of this piece. Normally, I prefer to write free-verse poetry without the centering, unless it's Haiku, but I felt this worked very well. The colored font also added to the emotion, in my humble opinion. I also liked that you added line spaces here and there, for pause. Very effective. Suggestions/Comments to ConsiderThe only suggestion I have, which isn't to say I am right and you are wrong, is that you experiment with taking away most of the punctuation and also uncapping the beginning of each line. It's just a suggestion. I think it would flow a wee better, adding to the forlorn emotion. Final ThoughtsI felt such sadness while reading this. Excellent job pulling out this reader's emotions. Well-done!Have a great day and... K e e p on W r i t i n g ! Cubby ")
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