This was pretty good if you could get past the grammatical errors.I think this piece needs a little more work however not bad ,not bad at all. It’s a little hard to read because in some places and the story’s not as clear as it could be however maybe that’s just the grammatical errors. Reread and write this maybe with help of a friend or family member and see where it goes. I would love to see a rewrite. Keep writing a good story is in there I do believe.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .