Any comments are only my personal ideas and meant as suggestions.

My overall impression: This is beautifully written with descriptions that soak up the senses and overflow.


What I liked most: I can picture this special part of a life being hidden far away from all distractions and noise to find the silence of darkness after "death" to come to awareness. It is like the ultimate innocence and peace.

Love the following:
The stars forgot it.
The oceans missed it
as they counted each humble grain of sand— twice;
and yet,
quiet, quieter
in this stillness of the uncaring void
it is within the midst of silence
that the soul finds its voice.




Suggestions for change: None




This writing made me feel: I have a hard time with the idea of a soul. I have never seen it during an autopsy or surgery. I am not religious really but there are mysteries that science can't explain and this is one. You have such a gift.



Always make the time to write. Your characters will speak to you, if you take the time to listen.
Keep writing!

Kat



In the deepest hour of the night, confess to yourself that you would die if you were forbidden to write. And look deep into your heart where it spreads its roots, the answer, and ask yourself, must I write?
—Rainer Maria Rilke