Who is she at the end? Perhaps you could plant more clues through the piece. I think it is solid until the last few lines which kind of hit you out of the left field and not necessarily in a good way. Maybe you should try to show which of the women he is having feelings about in a slightly clearer way or leave that part out. But then the story wouldn't be finished, I don't know quite what to do but it isn't quite finished as it is.