Greetings, Anni!

Welcome to this wondrous writing community, and to "The Poet's Place "  group, in particular. You are certainly off to a fantastic start by populating your port and finding your way around this vast site in such short order. The following observations are offered in the interest of friendly hospitality and constructive support. Of course, they are nothing more than one person's opinions, so take them or leave them for whatever you think they may be worth.

TITLE:

Unless your name is Sylvia Plath, or that of some other famous poet, whose reputation is enough to attract a fawning audience, the title is one of the most important elements of any composition, because it is the portal through which a prospective reader must pass to enter the realm of your imagination. It sets the tone and prepares the reader for what is to come. If that entrance does not spark some sort of interest, chances are he or she will move along to the next item, or maybe even the next author.

The name you have given this poem creates an instant connection for that random browser with its reference to the dreadful circumstances with which we are all too familiar.

FORM & STRUCTURE:

In traditional poetry, the fixed shape of the meter, rhyme, and stanza creates an emotional distance which facilitates universal acceptance. The poet writing free verse must compensate for the lack of traditional structure by designing the title, line, stanza, and rhythm to provide the greatest impact in an efficient manner. Otherwise, the poem will be nothing more than prose in disguise. Careful design of the word selection and arrangement, the length and density of each line, and the breakdown of stanzas must provide a natural rhythm. That is, through much toil in search of precise language, experimentation with forming lines and stanzas, and extensive revision, the poet carefully crafts a work that appears natural, authentic, and convincing to the reader.

Dividing your composition into stanzas offers your audience the opportunity to absorb each impression more completely before moving along to the next.

The variation in line structure, ranging from four to ten syllables, and stanzas ranging from one to six lines in no particular pattern generates a tone of anxious agitation, which complements your narrator's portrayal perfectly.

IMAGERY:

Imagery is the lifeblood of a poem. Like a craftsman carving, molding, painting, and polishing wood, stone, clay, or some other material, the poet uses words to shape and paint pictures which present some lyrical impulse or spiritual truth. Rather than TELLING the audience about those feelings, the poet SHOWS the impressions through distinct images that project emotional overtones and associations with other images and events. In this way, the poet stirs an emotional response from the reader.

The specific details, such as "toilet rolls" and "weaponize a needle," along with the metaphor of "King" and his "castle of isolation," project vivid objects upon the screen of the reader's imagination, transforming the "invisible" into clear pictures.

The reference to "Kool-Aid" in this context brings to my mind the horrific scene of Jim Jones and his followers in the remote regions of Guyana on November 18, 1978: https://www.history.com/topics/crime/jonestown .

POETIC TECHNIQUE:

Just as the conductor of a symphony orchestra controls the tempo and power of the music with a delicate nuance, a poet guides the pace and force of the poem by manipulating sounds through word selection and arrangement.

If done well, rhyming can be pleasing to the ear and fun to create, testing the wit and ingenuity of the poet. It can also serve as an audible echo or resonance for emphasis. Additionally, rhyming can be an organizing device to create zones of similarity for your poems and linkage to connect different thoughts. Your application of both end rhyming with "water"/"slaughter" in the third stanza and "breath"/"death" in the fifth stanza, combined with a number of internal rhymes, such as "gold"/"old," "wield"/"shields," and "waits"/"mutates," again in no particular pattern, generates a dramatic echo effect to reinforce the word pictures you are painting.

OVERALL IMPRESSION:

This is a gripping representation of the current crisis which affects each and every one of us. However, I must respectfully disagree with the final word. In this case, ignorance is not "bliss," but tragic.

Here's wishing you fair winds as you continue to navigate this universe known as Writing.Com.

Let the creativity flow from your soul!
Dave
"The Poet's Place " 
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