Hi Turtle,
This is a fantastic story. The tone is full of aggravation. It grabs all the reader's attention and makes them want to read on. The reader is wondering what Roy is keeping a secret about. They will read to the last word. The plot is straight forward and moves along logically. The story is about a teenaged boy who is trying to keep a secret from those closest to him. The conflict is well defined. There is no doubt about what is going on here. The characters are well developed and believable. They come across as real people. The dialogue is well done and realistic. The characters speak like real people. The description is detailed and vivid.
It puts the reader all the way into the story. The story is well structured and consistent in terms of point of view and tense. Great job.