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Review #4569766
Viewing a review of:
 A love AS deep as the ocean Open in new Window. [E]
Unconditional love
by Jamaican Queen Author Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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Please note - any suggestions I offer are my personal opinion.
Feel free to use them or ignore them! Thanks!


Hallo!
This is a beautiful poem about lasting love.
The words bring the emotions to life.


Suggestions:
1. Genre - you've picked 'writing' three times.
I'd suggest you pick something like 'Romance/Love', 'Relationship' and 'Friendship', which may be more relevant.

2. Maybe you'd like to use some WritingML like colour, font and centralize the text, to enhance the impact of the words.

3. In the first few lines, you vary between present and past tense. Maybe you'd like to standardize that.

4. The imagery in the first few lines confused me a bit. I couldn't understand if it was the love or the aspects of nature you're talking about, when you say it stood still or soared.

I enjoyed reading this upbeat poem, thanks for sharing!
- Sonali


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